Category Archives: Self Development

Standard vs. Uniqueness


From experience I can testify that repelling uniqueness or differences is part of the Western culture and in general part of humanity. I was a foreigner in Germany for 10 years and now have lived in United States for 25+ years as a Persian. In Germany I would be assumed to be a Turk as Turkish people were allowed to migrate to that country as laborers after WWII to help rebuild the country and in the States, specially in Southwest, people assume I am Mexican or a Native Indian. Due to having experienced the [ugly] treatments most Westerner extend to these groups, I know that repelling anything that differs from expected standards is the norm within these societies. Simultaneously, I have been exposed to my own culture discriminatory behaviors as well. So naturally I have seen how we tend to repel anything that differs from our programmed belief system. However, it has been utmost harsh! As a privileged Persian who would have been brought up within my groups, I would have never experienced these kind of unjust behaviors existing within our societies/cultures. So I would have used/misused my powers to bully the lesser privileged groups.

We can beat our programmed belief systems. I lucked out by isolating and experiencing life differently so I can report to you that if we fail to control the natural course of our thinking pattern that is motivated by a false belief system [programmed], we will fail to ever see unity! Why? Isn’t that pretty obvious!? Our environments have changed drastically ever since the internet. We now are aware of much more than our brains are capable of handling. Globalization has caused many clashes among the various groups that we previously were unaware of. Because of our inability to process all that information, being mislead and slipping into the wrong path due to our faulty believe systems is easily doable by those who can play us. That is disastrous! Clashes of opinions are not be feared as only exchanging in a healthy manner will propel us as humanity ahead.

There are so many examples to cite to point out a few related issues presently playing mind games with all of us. An example, Opiate Addiction Epidemic is on the rise because the differences that are challenging our learned/programmed standards ARE above average. These discrepancies are leading to massive stress and depressions. Regretfully a society that is money motivated and has learned to remain focused on money, can easily be corrupted by its leaders that we rely on. So we go to our doctors who we believe are the experts [leaders] we can trust. Yet our doctors are motivated to make a living. Pharmaceutical companies send out account managers who are charming and enticing. They tell our doctors that the more they prescribe of their medications [recorded & reported by pharmacies], the more prestige and money they will receive. At times we run into good people who will never partake in such a corrupt system, yet can one trust blindly? He or she might be just selling you in such a cunning manner that you will never know. Or they too might have been convinced that their learned conventional education is the only way to address issues!? I have been there. In 2015, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. The neurologist who I was told to see, scared me to death by insisting that I must start pharmaceutical treatments as soon as possible to prevent future relapses. He cheerfully expressed that he had my best interest in mind with his serious recommendations. Since I had worked for a pharmaceutical corporation and knew how the system works, despite initially loosing it, I went into research. Not even one week passed by till I was being bombarded with calls from a prominent pharmaceutical company specializing in MS patients. I talked to a very kind concierge nurse exclusive assigned to me to support me. I felt special and a sense of calmness, believing that she truly cared for me. But in my research I found out why she was motivated to do this. Not to say that she personally lacked compassion, the truth, however, remains that she was an employee of a pharmaceutical company who has been advised to execute her job professionally. Not to dismiss that people lack sincerity but maybe it was just a presented show to comply with her duties!? Come to find out, I would have been a 100k client annually to them. Of course they will assign a concierge nurse [customer service representative] who probably handles so many more 100k patients for her company.

The worse thing is that if I had opted to listen to my doc blindly, I would have been hooked on depression medications and who knows what else to manage the side affects of the MS drug. An official patient in the system to generate money. In general, any medical problem should not immediately be combated with medication, including depression However, standards compel us to rely on this false belief system that has been ingrained [programmed] into us.

To make a long story short, I even went back a year later, thinking that my good health and weight-loss achieved would convince my doc to adopt kinder and gentler ways of treatments that he could advocate to his other MS patients. He actually arrogantly repelled and dismissed me as I did not provide the relationship that he had accepted mentally. Either his doings were due to true arrogance, cause how dare me to challenge his gained years of expertise, or he was truly corrupted and only interested in working with people that supply to his motives without questioning his authority. Regardless of his reasons, I could care less as I am grateful I relied on my own wisdom handling the situation that had such a profound effect on my well-being. The point is always take into consideration your own well-being and do not allow anyone to mislead you, either knowingly nor unknowingly.

We must acknowledge that our inability to consolidate our differences to co-exist in this global world,  causes damages to ourselves and the society in large. Because we unknowingly [automatically] engage in combating/conflicting behaviors just to justify our world to our set standards. If you pay attention, you will notice that battling differences in this world is lately the standards that’s why shit is hitting the fan.  It happens between genders, left and rights, ethnics, religious groups, country, and on and one and on. Gosh people defend their opinions, belief systems, teams, groups, and everything will all their powers with zero regards to a greater good. These behaviors are automated in compliance with our natural tendencies to behave like animals rather than cultured and controlled. That’s why we as humans have been chosen to be the top of the animal kingdom. Engaging in any uncontrolled behaviors will destroy our resources including us self. In order to store harmony and recreate unity in all realms of life, small and large, we must learn to embrace differences. How to do that when there is so much complexity confusing messages, injustice, and the never ending problems among all the different groups and in the world? It can be difficult at times to navigate through all that is transpiring around us and it’s easy to crawl back into our known belief systems [standards] to hide and numb ourselves. But don’t give up as there is a methodical way out. Yes, it is lots of work. But so worth the peace the harmony of your mind lends. How have I reached such a state of mind? Despite wanting to give up trying, I continued to remain objective in life, always sought the truth despite its ugliness at times, stayed focused on what has been enhancing my life, and acted out of kindness with the knowledge I was exposed to and the powers I was given. Many times my persona has been misjudged due to handling things myself as well as issues differently, against the set standards. However, I have continued to successfully exist in such a manner and can confidently tell you that it is the only way of moving forward in this environment. May the fittest survive is one of our universal laws that we must abide by to prevail. Norms and standards as expected are being challenged in today’s world. Only learning to embrace our differences and remain aware of the truth to control issues is our solution to heal as a global society. Together we can heal and better manage our resources to unit. It starts within and must entail adopting co-existence strategies. Learning to embrace our differences [be it internal or external] is the only way to overcome chaos/disaster to restore peace, harmony and unity. Do it!

Love and Blessings ❤️


Find Your Valentine

Valentine’s Day is here once again, a time to reflect on our love experience(s) in life! One either feels grateful, doubtful or lonely depending on how we evaluate. Since our mind paints the picture and is in charge of how we feel, it is only appropriate to write of my experiences on this topic to point out how our perceptions can make everything feel rosy or clouded. A great opportunity to evaluate our perception and develop awareness of what love truly is and not what we have come to believe it should look like before we can feel good.

I was under a cloud for years despite trying to keep my love alive as there was always a nagging voice that kept me feeling unfulfilled. Do yourself a favor and avoid feeling lost and confused for years to avoid feeling like a lonely goose this Valentine’s Day, if possible. Yes, it is easier said than done, but I know now that I know that it is easy if you only shift your thinking. I wished a sensible person in my life had pointed out that simple truth to me many years ago so that I could have avoided all those years of agony, confusions, feeling lonely, and stressed. Actually worst… depressed! But rather than getting clear messages to understand what true love is, I was being mislead by external and internal voices as most of us are. The root problem is complex and negative as how we all are in some sort of matrix [believe system] and continue unknowingly to keep ourselves and each other there. Life is ironic yet it has helped me to isolate myself that has given me the opportunity to think outside of the box to organize and correctly evaluate thoughts/feelings so that I can teach myself and pass them onto others. The point was, has been, and continues to be that if one learns to accept all as present with love and acts in love, one will see the blessings and feel happy. I finally did benefit from shifting and correcting my believe system to embrace all as God has given to me rather than questioning it.

Regardless of what mood you are in this Valentine’s Day, being deeply grateful for all the blessings presently existing in your life will bring love to your heart immediately. Remind yourself that your true love should be You and all your blessings. The saying “love thyself” is simple yet profound as it is the truth. Do not wait for external love to feel love in your heart. Love is all around you. Only then can you love the world and the world will love you back for shining bright. With these thoughts, here goes my ‘love’ story…

During Carnival 1985, Heinz and I first met in the city circle Sülz within Cologne on line 7 subway. He caught my eyes quickly as he was cute and yummy, dressed up almost looking like a Viking with his spiky hairs, carefully styled to stand up. He was adorable. Heinz was accompanied by his class mates. A guy named Frank who was an outspoken gay man from his group asked for my comb to tease up his hair. I quickly learned that they were all attending a party that night that I too was going to as well. Common friends introduced us and to say the least, our relationship has continued  for 33 years.

Both him and I have been assessing our relationship as our only choice with our limitations and prospects based on our believe system. So destiny made us stay together for a solid 26 year ever since we sat foot here in the States. Initially my ‘happy go lucky’ attitude at that age just wanted to have fun and didn’t judge him. However, I recall I quickly started judging as I was taking into consideration many ugly voices and opinions that would leave me unhappy with my choice. I am Persian, he is German, I am adventurous, he tends to hate taking risks, I am totally into communication and evaluation while having my head into everything, he is mostly minding his business taking care of things, I am curious and he likes the known and sticks to it, and on and on and on and on. You get the picture! The list of our differences between us were too staggering to ignore. So naturally with all my being I pushed to someday get out of it once I feel ready as in my head I continued to tell myself that we are too different to make anything work. I had tried for that many years with no avail. So I thought I was clever by at least preparing myself while bitching for the leap jump. His less than expected behaviors continued to confirm to me that he was completely wrong for me and that I must get out. So I would portray that too and as law of attraction works, which is any repeated thoughts and feelings are send signals to our universe, expressing what we want, insisted in my head that I must repel him. So I finally did strategies my way out.

However, come to find out that I was so wrong! He has been the perfect match for me. After I tried to finally find peace, I discovered through deep evaluations how he has shaped me into the woman that I am today and how much I appreciate his friendship and loyalty. Compared to the men I have ran into in an effort to find proper love, he is an angel and a gentlemen with a kind heart, just not the picture perfect man as society, including me, pictures nor expects. Our separation  forced me to remain focused on what has made us work rather why we haven’t. Now, I appreciate how it all transpired to our benefits even more as I know we both will be better human beings due to our personal sacrifices taken out of love, to both our dismays we did act in love. It’s pretty clear that it all happened to our benefits because knowingly or unknowingly we chose the path of love vs hate. So never underestimate the power of love. The longevity, built memories, and lessons learned as well as taught are invaluable and irreplaceable experiences of my life. So is his friendship. These are examples of our God given blessings that we ignore due to our wrong believe systems. It’s a form of displaying ungratefulness and I for one will never again fail to count and appreciate my blessings.

Too remaining with him protected me from experiencing what I am convinced I would have experienced in life if I had followed external voices [hate] vs my heart that loved him. As we know most men cannot help it than to be a natural predator always seeking to attract. The attraction is at times even forceful on vulnerable females. Their biology has equipped them to hunt for the best possible bait out there and thereof they cannot stop complying with that unless they learn to control themselves. That same mindset will eventually cause them to be bored sexually with what they have and due to their need to pursue variety in life, they unknowingly damage their village and women have even gotten more uglier at times to out beat this damaging behavior. Because of me disliking to deal with that ugliness nor caring to manage/tame it, I would have gone rogue and repelled a traditional man, woman union to embrace a non traditional lifestyle [lesbian] out of fear to be disappointed with the love men could ever offer. For years my logic would question my love for men as everything kept confirming that women are more beautiful internally than men ever could be. I had seen that so many men lusting and chasing after sex and power, abusing their resources [dogs, car, money, friends, career, looks, kids, anything to appeal] within their communities to just attend to their own need which is the natural need to conquer and remain powerful.  I didn’t want to be part of that ever. Because of this discrepancy, logic [women are fairer] not meeting my desires [wanting to experience love with a man], I continued to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. Self-sabotage is the same as hating oneself. Naturally that self hate affected not only me but my community as well. I thought there is something wrong with me for repelling the idea of homosexuality and had convinced myself that I was a bad and calculated female who had no other choice than to embrace what I was being forced into embracing due to presented dynamics!? But the truth is that I always loved beautiful minds but that doesn’t necessarily needs to convince me to also sexually embrace someone with a beautiful mind. Fact remains that I could never ever engage in any sexual act with a woman. So naturally Heinz was the perfect suitor that God put on my path. Again choosing path of love with lots of agony and ups and downs all these years turns out to be a better choice in God’s eyes as he paid us back despite believing that we have been doomed and destined to live a life of agony. Interesting toss and turn.

Regretfully, that truth is still being questioned by spectators surrounding us as it has been identified by unspoken standard expectations set into place by our society and culture that a love relationship must meet certain standards in order to be assessed as normal. That’s bullshit. Always listen to your heart as it speaks love and forget about the set ugly standards. We live in times where we need to break boundaries to reach new shores to enrich our life’s. Repel anything that’s hateful no matter what standardsf are preaching! Him and I have worked out as a union indeed because of our differences and have kept each other protected in life. I am happy to testify that I am clear about my love and appreciation for all as it is today. I hope so will you as life is sweeter and easier once we stop our doubts and resistance to the truth as it is.

HAPPY VALENTIN”S DAY. Make it life changing! This year it correlates with Lent, Ash Wednesday. A great time to take on new habits and adopt new mindsets to set yourself free. May love always fill your heart and soul and not just on this day.

Love and Blessings ❤️




Revitalize Life

Home for Christmas

Just in time for Christmas, a time to renew hopes and experience joy, I highly recommend revitalizing life as it will renew you. I spent the past year engaging in just organizing and revamping my life. It is transformational! The truth is that I engaged in any and all activities in alignment to my mission, which was self investment, just to bypass the stress I was experiencing at that time in my life. It truly works and in the end one cannot help than to feel proud of one’s accomplishments. And more importantly is it shifts one’s perspective. I learned to value and appreciate all what I have accumulated thus far, be it tangible or skills as tools. One learns to appreciate all as it is and comes to count one’s blessings. The more you engage in enriching your life by discovering all your blessings, the better your get at it. And life will magically renew when one engages in doing the right things in the now while patiently hoping for a better future, yet being prepared mentally/emotionally to deal with all as it comes, as best as possible. Practicing in any activity that will redo you and revitalize your life will be the best investment of your lifetime. The efforts you put in and the pain you endure will eventually equate to priceless accomplishments of your life that you will never ever forget. A memorable journey is what we all aim to live in this lifetime and one owes to experience one’s potential while still alive. We all have all we need to reach such a status. Do it.

May you enjoy the bliss of Holiday Season 🎄☃️

Love and Blessings ❤️


Create the Best Version of YOU

Love Thyself ~ Salome

A profound realization came to me today which has been life changing for me and so can it be for you. To have developed and learned to master this life changing strategy took me years of depression and forces of nature. However, better now than never. So despite all the battles I had to endure and fight, I feel blessed for having discovered this strategy.

Long story short, due to years of feeling as an outsider, repelled, unsupported, unloved, and isolated, I have had no other choice than to learn to rely on myself. As a woman that is not easy as we are taught to be self-less, remain humble, and are biologically driven anyhow to take care of a village first before ourselves. Yet that is a huge mistake! I know it now from years of suffering and having observed others destroying themselves and their village. We must be whole first before we can effectively take care of a village. In my opinion it is the most important thing in life as it has a huge impact. Specially as a woman. Why? It’s a known fact that women are the foundation of our society. Granted, that fact is still being challenged, debated and argued at all times. However, we are stopping progress due to our own demons which are the brainwashed conditioning and needs to compete and being righteous about what’s right or wrong. Having established and recognized that fact, why do we not adopt what makes sense to progress in life instead of engaging in finding what’s right or wrong? In my case, I felt incomplete and depressed, and thereof never thought that I needed to focus my energies on myself. I was always on the search of the ideal situation that could possibly make me whole and since it didn’t automatically happen, I was convincing myself that this miserable existence is what reality is and that I must accept my life is depressing and dull. That’s a complete BS.

If you care to accomplish the best version of you, then love yourself as you would love your child. Be your best friend, guide yourself, nourish yourself, exercise, be curious, continue to grow, respect/honor yourself, have your best interest in mind, standup for yourself, and most importantly, develop the best friendship possible with yourself as no one knows you better than you. Self-love will awaken love and compassion and change your life forever.

Pouring your efforts into creating a better version of yourself is the best investment of you life time. It starts with self-love!

I intuitively have been attracted to mirrors. I used to be ashamed of looking into mirrors and feel weird for being different. To this date it is difficult to love and take care of myself guilt free because I have been conditioned to feel guilty about showing signs of narcissism. Yet the forces of nature have taught me in a rough way that all is within us, only if we would open our eyes and expand our perspectives.

A practice that starts a relationship with oneself is to learn to look and speak to oneself directly in the mirror or camera, hashing things out and/or advising oneself to do the right thing. Imagine two entities, a mind and a body. The best friendship you could ever form in between these two entities. If you master that, than you will be able to guide yourself to a better version of you. You can teach others, yet you can never control them. However, you can control and direct yourself. Change is forced when people see change unfold in you. If you do the right thing, those surrounding you will automatically be inspired too and eager to improve themselves as well. That’s powerful!

This practice among others have propelled me ahead. I am happy to report that I am the best version of myself thus far. However, as we know from business management science, there is always room for improvement. That is what makes life fun. Enjoy the journey, be patient with yourself as you strive to get where you need to go. You can do it.

Love and Blessings ❤️