Category Archives: positivity

Find Your Valentine

Valentine’s Day is here once again, a time to reflect on our love experience(s) in life! One either feels grateful, doubtful or lonely depending on how we evaluate. Since our mind paints the picture and is in charge of how we feel, it is only appropriate to write of my experiences on this topic to point out how our perceptions can make everything feel rosy or clouded. A great opportunity to evaluate our perception and develop awareness of what love truly is and not what we have come to believe it should look like before we can feel good.

I was under a cloud for years despite trying to keep my love alive as there was always a nagging voice that kept me feeling unfulfilled. Do yourself a favor and avoid feeling lost and confused for years to avoid feeling like a lonely goose this Valentine’s Day, if possible. Yes, it is easier said than done, but I know now that I know that it is easy if you only shift your thinking. I wished a sensible person in my life had pointed out that simple truth to me many years ago so that I could have avoided all those years of agony, confusions, feeling lonely, and stressed. Actually worst… depressed! But rather than getting clear messages to understand what true love is, I was being mislead by external and internal voices as most of us are. The root problem is complex and negative as how we all are in some sort of matrix [believe system] and continue unknowingly to keep ourselves and each other there. Life is ironic yet it has helped me to isolate myself that has given me the opportunity to think outside of the box to organize and correctly evaluate thoughts/feelings so that I can teach myself and pass them onto others. The point was, has been, and continues to be that if one learns to accept all as present with love and acts in love, one will see the blessings and feel happy. I finally did benefit from shifting and correcting my believe system to embrace all as God has given to me rather than questioning it.

Regardless of what mood you are in this Valentine’s Day, being deeply grateful for all the blessings presently existing in your life will bring love to your heart immediately. Remind yourself that your true love should be You and all your blessings. The saying “love thyself” is simple yet profound as it is the truth. Do not wait for external love to feel love in your heart. Love is all around you. Only then can you love the world and the world will love you back for shining bright. With these thoughts, here goes my ‘love’ story…

During Carnival 1985, Heinz and I first met in the city circle Sülz within Cologne on line 7 subway. He caught my eyes quickly as he was cute and yummy, dressed up almost looking like a Viking with his spiky hairs, carefully styled to stand up. He was adorable. Heinz was accompanied by his class mates. A guy named Frank who was an outspoken gay man from his group asked for my comb to tease up his hair. I quickly learned that they were all attending a party that night that I too was going to as well. Common friends introduced us and to say the least, our relationship has continued  for 33 years.

Both him and I have been assessing our relationship as our only choice with our limitations and prospects based on our believe system. So destiny made us stay together for a solid 26 year ever since we sat foot here in the States. Initially my ‘happy go lucky’ attitude at that age just wanted to have fun and didn’t judge him. However, I recall I quickly started judging as I was taking into consideration many ugly voices and opinions that would leave me unhappy with my choice. I am Persian, he is German, I am adventurous, he tends to hate taking risks, I am totally into communication and evaluation while having my head into everything, he is mostly minding his business taking care of things, I am curious and he likes the known and sticks to it, and on and on and on and on. You get the picture! The list of our differences between us were too staggering to ignore. So naturally with all my being I pushed to someday get out of it once I feel ready as in my head I continued to tell myself that we are too different to make anything work. I had tried for that many years with no avail. So I thought I was clever by at least preparing myself while bitching for the leap jump. His less than expected behaviors continued to confirm to me that he was completely wrong for me and that I must get out. So I would portray that too and as law of attraction works, which is any repeated thoughts and feelings are send signals to our universe, expressing what we want, insisted in my head that I must repel him. So I finally did strategies my way out.

However, come to find out that I was so wrong! He has been the perfect match for me. After I tried to finally find peace, I discovered through deep evaluations how he has shaped me into the woman that I am today and how much I appreciate his friendship and loyalty. Compared to the men I have ran into in an effort to find proper love, he is an angel and a gentlemen with a kind heart, just not the picture perfect man as society, including me, pictures nor expects. Our separation  forced me to remain focused on what has made us work rather why we haven’t. Now, I appreciate how it all transpired to our benefits even more as I know we both will be better human beings due to our personal sacrifices taken out of love, to both our dismays we did act in love. It’s pretty clear that it all happened to our benefits because knowingly or unknowingly we chose the path of love vs hate. So never underestimate the power of love. The longevity, built memories, and lessons learned as well as taught are invaluable and irreplaceable experiences of my life. So is his friendship. These are examples of our God given blessings that we ignore due to our wrong believe systems. It’s a form of displaying ungratefulness and I for one will never again fail to count and appreciate my blessings.

Too remaining with him protected me from experiencing what I am convinced I would have experienced in life if I had followed external voices [hate] vs my heart that loved him. As we know most men cannot help it than to be a natural predator always seeking to attract. The attraction is at times even forceful on vulnerable females. Their biology has equipped them to hunt for the best possible bait out there and thereof they cannot stop complying with that unless they learn to control themselves. That same mindset will eventually cause them to be bored sexually with what they have and due to their need to pursue variety in life, they unknowingly damage their village and women have even gotten more uglier at times to out beat this damaging behavior. Because of me disliking to deal with that ugliness nor caring to manage/tame it, I would have gone rogue and repelled a traditional man, woman union to embrace a non traditional lifestyle [lesbian] out of fear to be disappointed with the love men could ever offer. For years my logic would question my love for men as everything kept confirming that women are more beautiful internally than men ever could be. I had seen that so many men lusting and chasing after sex and power, abusing their resources [dogs, car, money, friends, career, looks, kids, anything to appeal] within their communities to just attend to their own need which is the natural need to conquer and remain powerful.  I didn’t want to be part of that ever. Because of this discrepancy, logic [women are fairer] not meeting my desires [wanting to experience love with a man], I continued to engage in self-sabotaging behaviors. Self-sabotage is the same as hating oneself. Naturally that self hate affected not only me but my community as well. I thought there is something wrong with me for repelling the idea of homosexuality and had convinced myself that I was a bad and calculated female who had no other choice than to embrace what I was being forced into embracing due to presented dynamics!? But the truth is that I always loved beautiful minds but that doesn’t necessarily needs to convince me to also sexually embrace someone with a beautiful mind. Fact remains that I could never ever engage in any sexual act with a woman. So naturally Heinz was the perfect suitor that God put on my path. Again choosing path of love with lots of agony and ups and downs all these years turns out to be a better choice in God’s eyes as he paid us back despite believing that we have been doomed and destined to live a life of agony. Interesting toss and turn.

Regretfully, that truth is still being questioned by spectators surrounding us as it has been identified by unspoken standard expectations set into place by our society and culture that a love relationship must meet certain standards in order to be assessed as normal. That’s bullshit. Always listen to your heart as it speaks love and forget about the set ugly standards. We live in times where we need to break boundaries to reach new shores to enrich our life’s. Repel anything that’s hateful no matter what standardsf are preaching! Him and I have worked out as a union indeed because of our differences and have kept each other protected in life. I am happy to testify that I am clear about my love and appreciation for all as it is today. I hope so will you as life is sweeter and easier once we stop our doubts and resistance to the truth as it is.

HAPPY VALENTIN”S DAY. Make it life changing! This year it correlates with Lent, Ash Wednesday. A great time to take on new habits and adopt new mindsets to set yourself free. May love always fill your heart and soul and not just on this day.

Love and Blessings ❤️




Hope is Alive

Happy New Year All. 2018 has shown a very strong start thus far, allowing me and many others to once again believe that a brighter future is possible. The message of hope is being conveyed in many ways. But the most powerful message was sent by Oprah, our most influential public figure presently who finally steps forward to assume the role of a much needed beacon of hope during these hard times. There isn’t anyone more qualified to lead us than Oprah. Of course we cannot fool ourselves as rebuilding takes a lot of work. There are many areas and issues to be addressed, cleaned up, and rectified. Yet with collaboration and active management we can collectively gather all our tools to recoup from all that has gone south.

America presented an empowering solidarity at the 75th Golden Globe Award show. Once again the world sees this nation rising up to inspire us all to start healing and repair. The work, however, must be strategically laid out and organized as it is complex. Yet it is doable as we have all we need to get the job done correctly this time to achieve prosperity.  We finally stand up in unity to say no to injustice toward women while acknowledging their hard work thus far. Today’s women are indeed qualified to lead us to success. It is logical as they are biologically kinder and fairer. To reiterate and agree to that strong message of all our powerful Hollywood women, gender equity is the first step. Both genders must work as a team to utilize the strength of each other effectively moving forward. A simple stereotyping of our gender strength based on science is that women are more strategical and men are more efficient in executing.  Since we know that behind all healthy villages are women, we need to start supporting and healing our women first so that our society can heal again. Work must start within as inner conflicts do compel one to be and act ugly at times. These small things that we ignore, deny, defend, and lie about cause damages to ourselves as well as our immediate circles and lend to a broken society. And control/address those who continue to fail and/or think that they can get away with bullies, corruption, and other bad behaviors. And too stop tolerating, collaborating, and supporting wrong doers. Know that saying no to ugliness is not ugly nor harsh, but equates to love as it is in the interest of a greater good.

See something, say something. Silence is not always the best solution. Dialogue and open communication are key to our success. Yes, we have been trained to remain politically correct and pretend we didn’t notice ugly behaviors. They start very small yet tolerating any ugly behaviors in ourselves as well as our circle of influence leads to these behaviors infesting and establishing themselves. What has to be addressed must be addressed. Time is indeed up and we have to stop being ignorant. Ignorance equates to tolerance and failure to plan is planning to fail as we see presently all across our landscape. Majority of us regretfully believe that conversations and/or addressing issues are negative and we categorize them as rants. The truth, however, is that dialogue is constructive and positive, not negative as we have been brainwashed to believe. Change your perspective about that fact and many doors will open as you get to explore and navigate your world clearer.

Many of you must have felt relieved and uplifted as I too finally relieved see my voices amplified. All my life I have had to endure much opposition and ugliness just to exist and try to thrive. To say the least, it is a hard road to travel. Yet the light at the end of each phase is so worth it. Do the work and you shall see the fruit of your labors some day. It is that hope that has propelled us humans to continue to thrive. With that in mind I too would love to be part of this historical movement as my story is a story that captures the ups and downs of our existence and how we all can tap into our resources to accomplish bliss if we learn to endure and move with grace and love in life. To learn more of this project “In God We Trust”, go to Kickstarter page. Please support if you can.

Let the work begin!

Love and Blessings ❤️


Optimism Heals

optimismYes, change starts within! I for one always appreciated everything in my life, saw people for their loving qualities, and always remember good memories that I loved and still love to build and capture, be it in writing, photography, collecting, cooking, and etc.! You get the picture. It means that my “happy go lucky” perspectives have continued to attract beauty into my life. Law of attraction is only activated if one flows within its rules. I also understood and still understand that life has its cycles of ups and downs. Handling all that transpires in life with grace maintains sanity. Remain cool, calm, and collected as reality is reality. Deal with it. Nor tolerate sour pusses or other unfitting people in life. No shame in that. Sometimes chemistries/energies complete each other and other times they repel. Only acceptance will set one free. Another quality that has served me is to live in now. It has not been easy. Yet practice does make the master. Living in now is the biggest blessing ever. We all are born into a tribe and a location that has been chosen for us by divine powers. Wasting time agonizing, fighting, or being dismayed about what is, is a waste of life time. So is worrying about an unforeseen future. Do the right thing now and it could be bright. However, remain realistic that certain outcomes depend on the collective efforts of all involved. Sure, the though of dying and not knowing what the future brings is scary and paralyzing as hell. Know, however, that your dismay is irrelevant as the law of nature could care less and you are wasting again your pressure time now, engaging in self sabotaging doings, agonizing about something irrelevant to now. If you abide by grace and remain faithful and patient, the law of attraction will naturally propel you in life. I have experienced these phenomenons myself and speak of truth. These transformations are undeniable  and they are due to practicing these laws. Let me summarize again:

*Live in now
*Appreciate all as it is [count blessings, build memories, remain kind, handle all with grace]
*Be faithful and believe in magic

Life is too short to be functioning in any other manner that disadvantages you. Start practicing these simple principles to enhance the experiences of your existence and those around you. That is true bliss and the more people practice that, the better our society will function as a whole. The chaos lately has been disturbing. I for one am one of many who is super angry and fed up with all. These dysfunctions are visible every where we go and in most people we interact with. It is staggering and saddening! People engage in inappropriate behaviors out of anger. These behaviors could include being pushy, too sexual, insecure, ugly, violent, on drugs or alcohol, or simply careless about their reputation and/or output at various events. Everyone is needy and has learned to focus on self agendas in life with no regards. Yes, we continue to think we are insignificant to make a difference and that’s why it is OK to behave inappropriately as no one cares. Yet, we don’t realize that we matter and only if we know that we do, will we make a change. Let us embark on this journey to transform ourselves to transform our world. It can be done!



Love and Blessings ❤️