Category Archives: Gratitude

Best Things in Life are Worth Waiting and Working For

There are so many sayings/wisdom that confirm that logic in life. Amazing that a person as wealthy and popular as Prince would too know of this profound wisdom. Respect!

I truly can testify to it as well. People ask me why it took me such a long time to loose weight or to find myself and my calling/purpose. I truly am glad it did take its sweet time as the experiences and the journey that has made me into who I am today are PRICELESS treasures that I cherish. I now know that all transpires as it should and we need to learn to go with the ebbs and flows of life to properly manage. I highly advocate developing patience and integrity in your lifetime to refrain from seeking instant gratification as they are misleading. These virtues truly protected me in life from falling into dangers and wrong paths. So I thank my Universe, Divine Powers, Lord, Gods, Gaia, Allah, HaShem, Buddha or however you refer to our Higher Source. It truly does not matter. What matters is our ability to co-exist and embrace diversity in life. Our worlds and landscapes have drastically changed. If we fail to catch up/step up, we will fail to succeed due to natural law which is the “fittest shall survive”. It is a law of nature. Like it or not. Learn to change and stretch yourself to step up [higher your game] as that is your only choice to bliss or you will fall pray into many forms of mental health disorders that are ridding/destroying us.

Here is my latest episode on YouTube:

I hope you do find valuable information in my stories and wisdom that I share with love. If you cannot, I truly feel sorry as believe you suffer from insecurities that motivate you to repel what you judge/assess.  My messages are getting more direct cause I continue running into oppositions in life. I do apologize for offending anyone. Just offering my “2 cents”.

To support my mission to educate others as well to find bliss, please donate.

Love and Blessings ❤️

Gods are Reborn

What a blessing! To know that Universe has your back and that sticking to moral values in life does pay back. YOU get to be a part of this age. I am thrilled that I am. In my heart I always felt blessed for living in this age with so much resources.

It is ironic that an ex-atheist like me now believes in the stories that so many people believed in and still do (or falsely believe they do). Yet the Divine downloads that I have been receiving lately, tell me that these great men did indeed walk the earth and preached. We, however, changed the stories around to work them for our own hidden agendas and those in power abused it! And many other greats [I call them earth angels] who walked the earth, we prosecuted/punished/derailed them. Broke their hearts and abused them. Gods are mad!

I now know why we suffer! Because all the powers lay indeed within. We can do good or bad. We managed to balance between good and bad. But the bad is now on tipping point. If you want to experience heaven, know that it needs to be created on Earth to be passed on to following generations with kindness. Learn how to. It made an example out of me and so many others to proof to us, who care to learn from examples, that we have all we need to succeed as so many, including me, could and did. It’s not freaking easy, yet it is doable and the reality. It’s up to us to make it or fuck it up!

Divine Powers tell me that the blessing first were presented in form of religions to guide us and later in many other blessings. But we continued to ignore and believe arrogantly that these great science/advancement innovations and other blessings were/are man made. The truth is far from that. All our blessings, including science and anything in between, are Divine blessings. Not our own doings! We are just chose vehicles in various roles, executing. Ideas, innovations, creativity, science, art, advancements, discoveries, all of it. Every single detail is planned. I learned that fact based on my close observation of all realms. To feel the proof of Divine Powers, just learn to see the signs of its existence in yourself, your surroundings, our planet, other, blah blah blah and live in love.

Fact is that most men too abused their given powers, regretfully due to their biology that is  animalistic and tougher to control, so work will need to now continue by women as they are better equipped to lead. Just as we grow, so does GAIA. It’s LOGIC! So powers are shifting.

Our jobs are to appreciate our blessing as they are given to us, refrain from corruption and deceit at all cost, and do good with our powers and resources to flourish ourselves and our immediate communities. Specially as a man you must learn to control your ego and focus on kindly to be the provider/protector of your community as you were equipped to be. Only a peaceful collaboration among the genders or any other differences will ensure success. Any hateful intentions, sayings, doings, and such are indeed karma that will rotten one’s blessings. Those who fall into the wrong belief system to decline Divine Powers existence, are sinning and will pay their dues in life. In today’s world they are called mental disorders that lower the quality of life’s. Well documented on the rise as sinning is high. Those who have the ability to abuse their powers, may try to entertain and kill time for themselves. However, their inner truth and mind will never leave them experiencing bliss in life. Thereof sufferings are unavoidable! All sufferings are messages to wake us up. As we continue to miss them, the sufferings get tougher.

Since United States has shown signs of having abused it’s given leadership powers, Gods have been angry and continue to punish its wrongdoings strongly with various hardships. Largely it’s because its people have lost faith and engage in narcissistic, corrupted behaviors. Specially this countries leaders.They have become gullible and ignorant. It was Divine Powers that caused the Roman Empire to fall apart. To prevent history from repeating itself, United States will need to rise once again to lead the world into prosperity and peace. I personally have no longer any worries as I see clearly the signs of the upcoming changes all over this country’s landscape. That too has been planned by the Divine Powers. There will not be another fall like Roman Empire as United States has been chosen to lead the way once again. Changes have been initiated and are just a matter of time.

May you too believe soon again as it is beautiful and comforting.

Love and Blessings ❤️

Age of Spirituality

The 90th Oscars last night confirmed we are indeed in the age of spirituality, if we like it or not. I believe!

Finally, times resonate. As per Wheel of Fortune in Tarot cards, seasons do change, light does follow darkness. I personally have been the minority and an odd ball in this world [assessed as lesbian, crazy, angry, agitated and everything else in between]. It is a blessing that what we women have fought for all our life is showing signs of fruition. There are so many greats that have indeed paved the ways for us. It’s our time to do good!

Embracing differences + Opening up dialogue are the first needed steps on our lengthy journey ahead.

But to again glorify how Oscars send many social messages, it was too good to hear that set norms [status quo or standards] are no longer necessarily a fit in today’s world. I knew it! People finally dare to stand up to injustice to say enough is enough as I have been all my life. Colored people, women, and other definition of minorities get pushed around and bullied to be forced into things [to sum all ugliness] or a lifestyle one doesn’t want. Terrible! I was blessed to remain protected from all the crap that has gone around.

Many as I must be happy times are changing. Some might not as change poops on some people’s parade. Yet it is promise that only change promises our continuity. All resistance will lead to your own destruction. I have been on that route in my life and speak of years of sufferings. Yes, lots of work ahead of us. But the healing and unity will be so worth it. To start the collective healing to achieve unity, we must learn to embrace all our differences and be okay with addressing what must be addressed! Failure to plan is planing to fail. Obviously.

Here is my latest episode on my YouTube channel. My 2cents 😁

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Love and Blessings ❤️

Weight-Loss Journey

Losing weight is a top resolution for New Year and as most of us have experienced, our good intentions fade away as regular life takes over by the end of January. I have been there so many times. And what can one do besides adopting the same old standards as last year and pretending to be happy as it seems impossible to reach for an ideal outcome now. But don’t let failures stop you as giving up pursuing your goals is like never taking the first step to a journey that makes life an adventure. Do yourself a favor and remain confident that weight-loss or other feasible goals are achievable with the fitting tools and strategies. With that mindset, “where there is a will, there is a way”, I took many attempts of first steps and finally did accomplish my weight-loss goal!

My obesity started as a child. I was born fat and continued to get fatter for many reasons. To say the least, my childhood experience left me unfulfilled and thereof I would replace the missing emotional stimulation with food consumption as it offered variety and love that lacked in my world. Too did I not welcome the dismays and dysfunctions of society and my family. Their false standards pushed me to become rebellious just to refuse my compliance. In hindsight I know I was protecting myself. It took me many tries and failures to make it finally work. Almost 50 years to understand what had transpired, how the journey shaped me, and to finally achieve a comfortable weight. Having lived and experienced life as an overweight individual in this times has been quite tricky, painful, yet has enriched my life so much that I am now grateful for having had that experience in life to talk about. The wisdom gained for a hardship that I was destined to experience has been indeed a blessing in disguise. So never underestimate and dismiss the powers of your horrible experiences in life as they carry deep lessons that will make you a better person in life if you learn them to improve your game in life.

Without going into all the ugly details, my childhood upbringings led to more dysfunctional and frustrating life experiences. Years of agony caused me to balloon up to 360 pounds by age 30 . All my efforts to control my hunger or weight failed year after year. Life was getting to be unbearable with the consequences of experiencing it as an obese woman. No one really could understand nor feel the pain I was subjected to experience life in a fat-suit, specially in this narcissistic culture. I felt so alone and wanted to give up at times trying. At times my life was meaningless as the ugliness was overwhelmingly painful and I would feel worthless cause I didn’t fit in. We all pretend not to notice and at times even fail to acknowledge anyone’s existence besides our own. It’s in alignment with self-love that is being brainwashed, preached, and conditioned into us. And other times we do empathize with other people’s sufferings, yet refrain from caring cause being nosy or sticking one’s head in other people’s business is assessed as impolite. If we only take care of our own interests and are courteous and cordial, do we believe we are good. Anyone who questions that mindset, we chose to ignore and dismiss as it is unfitting. But I know that I know that it was wrong of all my surroundings to ignore my soul’s pain while growing up. As we know brain is not fully developed until age 25. All the feedback from my close circle that should have helped me in life to assume the right path, didn’t, cause they too themselves were messed up emotionally and mentally. Which I didn’t know back then. However, my reaction to this level of superficiality pushed me into self sabotaging behaviors with ripple effects. The results were never ending loops of failures, stress, and pain. Thank God there was my grandma. She was my only cheerleader in life. I will for always be grateful for her. But poor thing, was injured herself and needed help as well. Revolution of my country, Iran, had led all her off-springs, including her grand-kids, to be spread in Sweden and Germany. I ended up all the way in United States. She couldn’t be there always for me. We talked hours and hours over the phone yet it still was lonely and I had to make my own life experiences. But I was determined to find out how, even more since I continued to observe my own sufferings and all others around me. My grandma had thought me to believe in myself, that someday I will make it. Her sanity too was being questioned by others within my circle but I am glad my heart and brain ignored cause she was the only one who had somewhat accomplished something in life despite lacking support and continued to offer her unconditional love. So she became my role model. She was right. I searched and I found my way. Today I know that I know that law of attraction manifested my wish, to loose weight and achieve to be fit in life. It was a dream that I lived for all my life.

The journey in my opinion could have been better yet it ended up being quite lengthy because I lacked the needed support. So I resorted to gastric by-pass surgery as I was desperate. There was no other way at that time that I could have conquered anything. All my tries to do it right would fail. Now it’s clear it was destined  to happen that way. By gully, I had tried everything, including exercise, in an attempt to get it under control but I had royally failed. Since gastric by-pass had shown a fairly good chance of getting one’s hunger under control, it was my only chance to achieve a possible fit body. That’s all I ever wanted in my life. To stop lusting over food to a degree that it would replace all my emotional needs, be it good or bad. All my heart ever wanted was and still is to experience life in all it has to offer and not just focus on my miserable existence, consuming excessive food to numb my pain only to create bigger pain. A never ending cycle that was finally stopped in its track with getting my hunger under control.

It was July 2001 that I finally had my surgery. Not only is September 11th a memorable event of that year but it will be a memorable year to me because it truly changed my life for ever. To list the positive outcomes of my decision to have that surgery which was assessed as dangerous at that time, it truly curbed my hunger. I was no longer a slave to food. A sense of freedom from those ties. I also lost rapidly 100 lbs. Finally I could focus on my life again. However, I never learned to properly nourish my body to achieve true health nor a real comfortable weight. But it was something, finally! A good start.

Of course I attempted again to be disciplined and aimed to loose the other 100 lbs to reach a comfortable weight but failed AGAIN. No wonder cause I repel being disciplined in general. So I thought Weight-watcher might work as it offers flexibility. But I didn’t care to occupy my life with meetings and points. It is almost a lifestyle that I care less to adopt. Atkins was doable yet injected so much fat through my liver and gallbladder that I got sick. The gallbladder pain stopped my progress as I had to give up that diet in an effort to normalize fat. Who knows!? If my gallbladder hadn’t acted up, I would have gotten uric acid in my blood and some major inflammations!? Jenny Craig too worked initially but failed eventually for me. Each time I would lose some weight, I would gain it back and more. Another cycle that I continued to experience years after years. Yo yo effect ha ha! Yes, I too was a victim. I was getting frustrated with my inability to accomplish balance. I asked why? Challenging myself to figure it out once for all helped me to come across resources, a variety of holistic nutrition diet types, to rev up my metabolism and heal my body.

It must be listed that prior to my journey, I had tried a few retreats in Germany to learn proper lifestyle changes, including implementing soup, salad, other liquid diets, hypnosis sessions, and many other holistic things to no avail. I suppose none of these methods were a true fit to my style. But all of them helped in my journey to discover what works and what doesn’t. That’s were the saying comes in, “enjoy the journey”. Unintentionally while driving myself crazy worrying and being unhappy living a miserable life, I focused on now and was determined to make it happen. I am glad my grandma had seen that quality of curiosity in me and encouraged me to stand my ground and remain focused on what I want, rather destroying myself with the crap things that sucked in my life. That mentality that I had inherited from her and she continued to encourage was my only solace and hope to make it.  She truly was an earth angel who blessed many people’s life who crossed her path. I am forever grateful as I would be nowhere pleasant without her. I am carrying her torch and as she said well, even more blessed cause I have all other available resources to do better passing on my wisdom to all receptive people than she ever could at her times. To this date thinking of the pain and hardship she experienced just to sustain a life as a disadvantaged woman breaks my heart and brings tears to my face. If she was able to do it with her limited resources and still survived the painful life path she had to endure, then what the hell was wrong with me. It truly helped me to get it together. Too did she always pray and I would always question her sanity to pray. She would always say that God does not need us to pray to him. It is us who need the hope, calmness, and solace this practice provides. She was absolutely right. I never understood but now know that there is a God who has given us many blessings, specially in our current times, and that he wants us to do good. It is, however, our choice to utilize them effectively and strategically to accomplish anything.

So never give up on your hopes and dreams as with the right strategies and practices and endurance they are possible!

Love and Blessings ❤️



Adversity Deepens & Beautifies

It is the truth! We all get pissed off once life gets to be too complex. Yet it is learning to navigate all its transpired circumstances. Do it with poise and grace and learn your lessons to break through. Beside of feeling proud of yourself, figuring out how to solve issues, truly deepens and beautifies your soul and appreciation for life. I know it cause I used to bitch and moan at all that wasn’t right in my life. However, once I learned that circumstances are as they are and that it is my job to hash them out and/or attempt to solve them, did I seek to educate myself to make it. Another confirmation is almost everyone has a reaction to the new, changed me. I continued to be puzzled as to why. Now I know that it is the beauty of my soul. Both reactions were puzzling and disturbing at times. Truly challenging. I finally know, however, the answer. It is a repeated issue in our society that continues to interfere with our progress and greatness. As we know there are many greats out there who manage to do everything right. A prime example of our times is Oprah. We all wished we had a life like her but are unaware of how much tear and blood work it must have been and still is for her to make it and/or manage it. Yet we righteously have our opinions and reasons as to why good things don’t nor can or should happen to us. Yet the fact is those who rise, take on a lot of pain and work onto themselves and are deserving of that lifestyle.Work starts with you. You can shine, always. All of us have given gifts. Use them!

Adversities are opportunities to evolve and rise!

Those who choose to remain negative, resent their past, recognize their inability to reach up to their likings will either repel someone like Oprah who rubs it in their face or even cause conflicts to justify themselves. There are other conditions that lead to negative reactions. All of them are driven from behavioral limitations or impairments. However, endure the pain of leaving a less than successful tribe behind in pursuit of happiness. As much as it is painful, do not be enticed to remain in your charted territory as discovering uncharted land is so worth it. Remember that we all have what we need to succeed. And if you continue to fail, then you are not doing something right. Those who assess and judge you correctly will evolve with you to move on while all those who should not play a role in your life will fall out. I used to continue to fail because of my own assessments and judgements; All is a believe system that’s impairing you and life. Adopt one that enhances your life.

I know how painful it is but I always felt like growth is in pain and thereof I never ever shied away from challenges. The sooner you are up for the challenge of change, the sooner you will come to live your life to it fullest potential. Now I actually seek them out to expedite my progress.The bonus point is that the deepening of your soul, beautifies you [‘Beauty starts within’] and your life. Everyone would want that. So next time you face adversity, get curious as how it can be solved rather than find reasons to justify your limiting choices. It is life changing. Remember life is complex. Yet it is your job to find all that beautifies it.

Love and Blessings ❤️


Enlightening Life Lessons

Entlightening LessonIt’s been a hard ride for me thus far. However, I am so grateful for having finally discovered the balance to my sanity and happiness. So it is from personal experiences that I am writing these lessons that have helped me. Learn and apply them as soon as possible if you want to find some contentment before it is too late. Life is too beautiful and precious to be wasted. Here they are:

Control – Never try to control the outcome of any situation if it’s not meant to be. Accept, harvest the positives, and move on. Sometimes situations turn out the way you want them to and sometimes they don’t. Everyone knows what I am talking about. Excessive emotions condition us. Do yourself a favor and never put too much expectations into any outcome. Unmeant expectations result in emotions that permanently condition us and keep us from future surprising outcomes. This lesson is very well taught and practiced in sales/business. Go into any situation with good intentions and don’t be mad if it doesn’t pan out they way you had hoped for.

Anger – Drop anger. Accept that life is unfair. Just be good to yourself. If you are too busy coming up with excuses as to why things are less than favorable to your taste, then you are a problem. You are not adding goodness to this world. You are just moaning and whining. If you want a good life, apply yourself and leave anybody and anything or any situation better than before. That’s what the world needs. Not whiners and those who are hurt forever and give themselves permission to feel hurt and hurt others. Experience joy by being a pleasure. It is truly all about love. Love and forgive instead.

Judgment – This one doesn’t serve you what so ever. It’s not your job to imply your way of thinking and doing unto others. Nor could you assume that anyone has the same thinking pattern as you would act or react. Just observe and simply see if there is any mutual ground. And if not, it’s OK. Cool to know one’s preference.

These principles that I continue to teach myself have improved my life a lot. I hope you too find balance and contentment. Practice does make the master. Never give up trying.

Love and Blessings ❤️



Self Healing

Wow! This week has been a super spiritual week for me. Quite healing. I engaged in many activities. But the most important discovery was a few days ago. I came across a book that beautifully summed up everything I have done intuitively to heal my soul. Medical Medium by Anthony William. Life experiences and self inflicted injuries had left my soul injured. Many know what it is like. To feel lost.

Multiple Sclerosis forced me to seek and learn harder. I did. It was, however, with the discovery of this book that I truly learned to finally see and appreciate my body for what it is truly. A hard working friend who always forgives you. The unintentional abuse I put it through. It badly deprived of all the needed support that I had neglected to give. It, however, continued to be resilient and prevail. I am so appreciative that it forgave me. Anthony made me aware that our body is our best friend. It’s so true! On top of receiving zero support, we load it with tons of stress and junk food. MS definitely woke me up. I truly feel blessed having found this book that validates my practices and confirms that I was never crazy for refusing to take immune suppressants and always feeling that I have the power to heal myself.

We can do even more when we are whole. Our brain and body have the capability to turn everything around and make it good.  I hope you don’t have to repair nor heal your spirit, soul, nor body. But read this book for awareness to change the things that are slowly damaging and maybe even killing you. Improve yourself and everyone around you. Thank you Anthony William for your beautiful voice and for writing your knowledge. I always knew that knowledge is power. And more than anything I am grateful that we have greats among us who share their knowledge to enlighten us. Share the love.

Love and Blessings ❤️

Spiritual Awareness and Healing


The spiritual development journey that I was subconsciously forced to endure has finally evolved. All dots do connect if you pay attention. I speak from experience. The final phase started last year, when I was diagnosed with MS. It’s been an emotional roller coaster for me and many other clairvoyants around the globe. The specific events that transpired within these final days, were emotionally tense and painful, yet powerful! All the felt energy forces have been root shaking and forced my fight/flight instinct to kick in to finally wake up to aggressively seek the truth.

At last, clarity and peace of mind that I am not losing my mind but rather am one of the chosen souls to receive divine energies, wisdom, and light to pass onto others. What a supreme blessing! I feel deeply humbled and am grateful for this calling. I happily accept and will fulfill my purpose as best as I can. Now I know why I always have felt special since my childhood. This superiority feeling wasn’t arrogance nor delusions as I used to believe because that was the story I had convinced myself of, felt guilty for, and allowed myself and others to punish me thereof, emotionally and physically. Turns out that it has been a divine gift/blessing. Now I know that all the faced challenges in my life thus far were meant to be. Without them I would not be the person I am today. Determined to follow my bliss. I finally completed my apprenticeship and know that I am.

The divine messages to me and all:

Know that you too have a greater purpose in life and are loved. We are all spiritual beings. All is love and divine. Start appreciating and you will be awarded. Some of us are at the beginning of our journey and some more advanced. All emotional feelings have meanings. The stronger the emotion, the more significant the message. Strive to find out what it means to you and your life. Know that all is here, good and bad, to serve you and you to serve all. You must humbly accept your order and calling in life to succeed. More than anything, humanity and our mother-earth are depleted of kindness and compassion. Spread love and kindness as much as you can. Teaching and support in any form is love, kindness, and compassion. If you are incapable because you are depleted and derailed yourself, seek help and guidance and you shall receive. Always love/heal yourself first to store your heart and overflow it with much compassion, kindness, and love. It will make you feel good. Self healing is utmost import. Only then can you pour love into all that’s crossing your path. All the resources for self healing and healing of others are available. Seek and if you cannot find, look for guidance and support from more advanced spiritual guides to find your way. The more people commit to this cause, the better our individual and collective today and future will be. Help yourself, help all.

Love & Blessings ❤️






Letter to All Sourpusses and Haters

Today I felt sorry for all you sourpusses and haters. I know you exist because I have continued to run into you. Throughout my relationships, friendships, all my jobs, my childhood, and most of my interactions. Basically my entire life. I have been portrayed as many things. It’s mind boggling. I have been called sick, delusional, fake, crazy, imaginative, too convinced of myself, outlandish, overbearing, lazy, too expectant, and many more labels that I prefer not to think of. Additional passive aggressive behaviors are other attributes offered by sourpusses and haters. live

Today I decided that I don’t care how those who assess me as such see it anymore. Sorry you live such a miserable life. Most important for me, however, is how I see it. Live and let live. I kind of suspect why you continue to argue to keep me around!? Please know that I greatly appreciate the constructive criticism in between all the intentional or unintentional abuses and insults. However, I honestly could care less how you think my present and/or future should be. I know who I am and how I want/need to roll. Thank you very much.

Again live and let live. If you decide to live an authentic life too, then you too are/will experience bliss on your level. I wish you all the best and much fun with all my heart.

Note to self: stand up for yourself! Yeah ME!

Peace and Blessings❤️


Gratitude Opportunities

The past few weeks have been even further more revealing and saddening. I have been toying with the idea on how to express these events in writing as another phase of my life that’s transpiring presently. Again because they are ironic, quite emotional, and carry lots of lessons to share. But words never properly would form in my head. So I decided to act and start writing them anyhow to let the stories tell themselves. If I am a writer, creative, a teacher, and an entertainer as I claim to be, words will paint the pictures to entertain and educate.


The events and outcomes that have transpired over the past few days are very much in alignment with my missions in life; Entertain and educate to spread love. These are gratitude opportunities that must be acknowledged. Also a validation of my respect for myself. Even if I get 0 audience, reading my previous posts make me fall more in love with myself. Which is another great tool that I swear by. Love and accept yourself. Be authentic. All of these are great concepts that can boost your confidence and increase your value to yourself and others.

Seems like all these events are happening ever since my looks and thinking patterns have changed. [to read how, read My Story] Which is OK by me. But truly sad and faltering. I, at times, despair because of too much ugliness.  It’s hard to remain optimistic and pull yourself out of those modes at times. It feels fake to be positive when all is negative and there are no hopes/encouragements around you. You have to be grateful if you remain clear and survive. What has helped me, is educating myself. Training my brain. I personally am very grateful for living at this digital age. It gives me access to a lot of good resources that I can learn from. So always train your brain! Know that these experiences, however, uber emotionally charged and tense they are, they carry at least one lesson if not more. Look forward to discover the value(s) that you are going to gain because you survived another battle. It’s beautiful.

I am happy I am strong enough to sustain them by myself. And I do have to say that universe has gifted me with many blessings. One of them is a very strong woman in my neighborhood. She is 86, has experienced much in life, and is such a positive woman to look up to, in short. There are tons of interesting stories she has to tell. I do hope she gets to write her stories while it is possible. It’s a privilege to be able to talk to this power source and have her love and support. I greatly appreciate that. I water aerobic almost daily with her in the morning. The pool is right in front of the door. The house has been another blessing that I have had in life. If I didn’t have my domain to fall onto, I would have fallen in life and totally would have lost it big. But my house and my environment that I have worked for very hard to establish, strengthens and sustains me. Someday I will publish a post with pictures and stories of this magical place. It definitely carries Feng Shui powers. All of these blessings in life. However, know that it takes tons of hard work, strong faith [mine comes from spirituality, another chapter that I plan to share later], patient, persistent, optimism, the desire to want something from the bottom of my heart despite all that tried to divert me, and the imagination that I can do it.  Even if not, isn’t more fun and exciting to pursue something or complete a project? Have fun! However, I am confident I will make it as I have always succeeded by very patiently and slowly adding the right tools and adapting the right attitude to propel.Where there is a will, there is a way. It excites me to think that there can be even brighter light at the end of the tunnel. What a great blessing that is. So many people around our globe will sadly never have that opportunity. Learn from failures, move on, and do it better the next time. I have been so often in situations that I consider major failures. But all of them equipped me with valuable lessons that made me know who I am, what I want or not, and how to proceed next.

I broke off with 2 of my oldest friends. We had known each other for18 years. Why? Because I assessed them as not being true friends anymore. They are also not people that I would like to hangout with. That simple. They knew that I have been wanting to be a writer and never offered any feedback on my projects. Additionally they continued declining collaboration on any projects or events that I suggested.

One of them claims that she is short on money. She loves making edible goodies with chocolates. I suggested that I can put together a website for her so that she can start selling her stuff. And since I am strong with decorative pieces that we eventually could sell together. She never reacted to that.

The last decline set me off. Enough was enough. She has been complaining on not having a man in her life to share things with. Since I am interested in networking to find investors for my project and/or seek to learn of new strategies on how to advance it, I asked her if she wanted to go to a local networking event together. It would have been a win-win situation for her and me. Lots of professional men were expected to be there. She simply declined and wished me vaguely good luck. I had asked her last month too. She excused herself by needing to go to gym. However, said that she always wanted to go for an happy hour to that hip bar in Phoenix. She said that if I would let her know next month for at least a week in advance, she would plan for it. Turned out that was an empty statement. Yes, I could have told myself something positive to continue our friendship. But what for?

The other friend went into freelance publishing business after her autoimmune disease diagnosis. Since my background was graphic design and I always have been entrepreneurial, I suggested that we setup a business together. She declined. Because she excuses herself with her Catholic belief. Our paths don’t mix she thinks. However, I truly have been professional thus far. No lie, I dislike organized religion. Love, faith, and spirituality, however, are awesome! How can one not appreciate those qualities in mankind or any institution? I respect that they have it and share it among their members. Wish I could be so blessed. However, it’s not in me to pretend I believe in certain things just to harvest the love and warmth of that community. Deceiving! Besides, it’s in me to always see the glass half full and appreciate the goodness in any situation. I believe that I always presented myself as such a person. If anyone has been offended, they misunderstood me. I always appreciate and love what’s good in you. The interaction that did it, where I thought enough is enough, is when she ignored my suggestion to go to a WordPress learning Meetup together to advance our skills. You see, after I had told her that I had started a blog, she wrote that she too was about to start a blog and will share details with me later. So I got excited for her. Thinking to myself, wow, what are the odds that one of my oldest friends is going to be engaged in the same activities as I am. Finally we will be able to collaborate on something together. I tried but never could do anything more!

All these years they both knew that I have been seeking closeness and friendship, but they never invited me into any of their circles such as July 4th camping, Thanksgiving dinners, card games, movie nights, family get-togethers and more. All I was good for is to be seen every 2 months for 2 hours for meals and superficial talks. I could no longer do that without them wanting to grow and develop with me. It was getting boring. I do have to say that both did offer some goodness. But I strongly believe that I always have lowered my expectations in life to see the glass half full. Any other friend at that time would have given me a birthday gift or attended my citizenship ceremony and things in that nature. I appreciated them. However, nothing extraordinary. No jumping through hoops to make my life better. As I had said in a previous post, have a friend for the sake of having a friend. Someone who matches your expectations.

Another interaction that was quite disappointing yet a valuable lesson was my interaction with this guy whom with I had a strong connection with. Long story short, my husband and I have decided that we are separating for reasons that I will not elaborate on at this time. That itself is a story to be told and I look forward to that article. I am grateful, however, that him and I have come to the conclusion to peacefully separate to hopefully begin our next exciting chapter in life. So naturally I am open to meet my one and only. So this guy attracted me cause he sounded nice and after looking at his LinkedIn profile, I wanted to get to know him more. Him and I talked during my customer service job. He, however, despite feeling the connection, looked at my blog site and specifically the characteristic page and decided that we are not a match. Respectable. I honor that. And am happy that I have established a tool that quickly tells prospects who I am. That way we are not wasting time to get to know each other during a lengthy process only to identify that we don’t like each other. Perfect tool for me. As it quickly eliminates unfitting people. However, what was disappointing is that this guy looks at all details on my site and only picks out what he doesn’t like about me to point out. That was a sad moment. And he also tried to infer fears in me and/or bully me before he ceases communication. Fear because he is a network security guy and thinks that revealing one’s personality publicly is dangerous. He also insinuated that my picture is sexually suggestive as I have my hands behind my head on my LinkedIn image. After a few hours of toying with the idea of taking my site down and hide, I chose to laugh.  Because I have faith and believe that this is a positive outcome. Let unfitting people fall away fast. Besides I have nothing to hide. How can I become a famous writer/storyteller if I am afraid to publicize my life stories and hide who I am? No fears, as I too would like to be an entertainer and a teacher through my stories. Like so many other bloggers who have accomplished living a successful and an abundant life in the eyes of public, I too will dare. So why not me?  There! Plus point is that this guy confirmed that I am sexy. Which woman doesn’t like to hear that? Especially someone like me who wants to succeed in the public eyes. That’s how you can always see the positive in everything.

Valuable lessons of these events and interactions are: 

  • Get to know yourself as best as you can.
  • Honor your values. Refrain from compromising your values to please a community. If you are strong and you’re in the zone, your community too will benefit.
  • Love/respect yourself and ALL will love/respect YOU.
  • Know what you’re looking for. The more specific you are, the smaller the haystack  gets. You will find your needle.
  • Drop fears and dare to plunge. What do you have to lose? It will be fun and you might succeed, trying. All my gains have come about when I dared in life. Do it. You can!

Peace and Blessings❤️